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hellacat
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Name: Anderson
Location: Hilliard, Ohio, United States
Birthday: 10/4/1986
Gender: Male


Interests: guitar, bass, mandolin, djembe, middle eastern/aisan music, music, art, history, love, women, literature, film, the occult
Expertise: none of the above...melancholy and disturbing poetry...tho i don't post it. kicking stupid whiny people...
Occupation: Artist


Message: message me
AIM: X7HELLCAT


Member Since: 4/27/2004

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Currently Listening
Beauty and the Breakdown
By Bury Your Dead
House of Straw
see related

so some stupid piece of shit decided that they would 'jack my xanga and dick about with it. so fuck you, you worthless piece of human garbage. swell up and die. Cunt.

 

 

quote of the year: "oh and if you see ben, be sure to let him know how happy i am and how great my life is without him in it."

hahahahahaha...fucking classic. that made my day


Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Currently Listening
You Had Me at Hello
By Bury Your Dead
Tuesday Night Fever
see related

Skinhead on the MTBA

i know i promised i wouldn't post again but this is post-worthy. i shaved my head. after 6 years of fairly long hair. its been cut but it is always various stages of long. enjoy motherfuckers...

gangsta shit


for the record, that's New York fucking his car


Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Currently Listening
Hail To The Thief
By Radiohead
Myxomatosis
see related
one last time, i'll tear myself open for you.


so here it is. this is it. official. THE post to end all posts. but mostly because this is the last post you will ever read from me on this god-forsaken website. sit. stay. its a long one.


      You know what? I'm quickly learning to hate the holidays like a man ten times my age and a hell of a lot more bitter. I swear, it must be a side effect of working in retail because almost everyone i know at tuttle just about loathes the holidays. I can't believe how much the ordinary people of the world can change when dropped in front of racks of brightly colored merchandise and told "go forth and spend your dough, for starting upon the first day of  November until January it is your religous obligation to spend hard earned cash on frivolous gifts for friends and family...All in the name of  Christianity, Materialism and  Capitalism!!"

hmmm,. Now it appears i've made an interesting point. Isn't that really what American life is kinda based off of?  The way i see it, you can't exist anywhere in this country without being reminded of  one of those bastions of American life. You can't turn a corner without running into a church; there are banks and Starbucks on every other street and we idolize the rich and famous.  not  that its that bad...

"what do you want to be when you grow up, bobby?"

                           "Rich."

Society's idea of happiness and the perfect life is a nice car, money and a nice house, no debt, no worries. I think i may not be formulating this idea entirely. Allow me to rephrase this. So far, the ideal that has been shown to me has just managed to nauseate me. I just can't believe that humanity can be so shallow sometimes. i can't remember where i heard the following phrase but i was quite struck by it and it has stuck with  me for several years now.

               "Being happy isn't about having what you want; it's about wanting what you have"


C'mon, people. lets try and keep this in mind this season before the greed blinds us all.

but anyway, back to why i now hate the holidays.
So yeah, working retail can really suck sometimes. This time of year, you may as well just lay down and take the abuse. I can't believe some of these people. I have customers that come in the store and don't even bother to take a look around. they just walk right up to the counter and announce that they need something. Kinda like this but with my thoughts in italics:

woman: Do you work here?
        (An extraordinarily stupid question. i am in full uniform, and have just closed the cash drawer)

me: (stares for a sec) yes... ... ... how can i help you?

woman: I can't find Black Eyed Peas and Mariah Carey.

me: (Arghh!! You stupid slag ! i watched you walk in!! you haven't looked!!)

          I inform her of their location  and began to ring out a customer (i have a line of three or four). i see her wander off , do a quick run down an aisle of DVDs then return to the counter after a whopping 15 seconds.

woman: Yeah, i can't find them. Can you grab them for me?

                 i am dumbstruck. this woman has to be the laziest person ever. i am in the middle of a transaction and she expects me to drop what ever i am doing . i can see two unoccupied clerks on the sales floor and i point her towards them.
               she doesn't budge
.
               i keep ringing out customers and they keep coming up.

               its like some weird game of chicken. see who can hold out longer. then i have no more customers and i go to help her.

woman:(exasperated) about time...

me: (YOU DIE!!! YOU FUCKING DIE!!!!  hooo....i swear to you i shall devour your very soul and urinate on your children's graves!!!!!)
               
without a word, i retrieve her cds and hand them to her barely able to stay cordial. she takes them, examines the cover and....

woman:  No, i don't want them anymore.
             
              she turns about and walks out of the store.

me: God, i just want to go home....


I don't know. Its all just stupid shit like that. nothing to terribly big, just stressful and aggravating. youi know, the kind of stuff that makes you want to rip your hair out and strangle someone with it.
       i suppose this kind of leads me to my next point. i am realy dissatisfied with life right now. i'm not unhappy ,  i just wish i could change everything about me and the things that happen to and around me. i seem to have an extraordinary amount of bad luck, but a fair share of  emotional agility.  the past couple of weeks there hasn't really been a whole lot  that gets me down.  it all just seems to roll off in waves. the way i see it, its either that or i  am so numb that ijust can't feel the psychological beatdown.
   *sigh* oh well.
i'll tell you all something. i am not feeling that deep tonight, just strange. Before i forget,  i'd like to thank everyone who once read this, still reads this and  those who may stumble across it.. as emotionally masochistic  as it is to bare ones heart and soul to the world in an online journal, i kept this from getting too sappy. Over the course of having this thing i have had a vey tumultous past year or whatever. This thing was a creative outlet for me. but  xanga can be so  attention-whoresque so i am outta here. i don't need to tell everyone every detail of my life. Writing shall always be my favorite catharsis but hard copy beats the hell outta digital. ok. i'm done no more society rants or anything. Music is the answer to all questions.
        this is it. i won't drag this out anymore. those of you who still  like me: call the cell, i'm not dead yet.

"i don’t know why
i feel so tongue-tied

don’t know why
i feel so skinned alive."

My thoughts are misguided and a little naive
I twitch and i salivate like with myxomatosis
you should put me in a home or you should put me down
I got myxomatosis


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

so lemme tell you all just how fortunate you are. i'm too lazy to set up a myspace so  my rants are staying here for the time being.

you wanna know something wonderful? listen to Radiohead's Creep and at 2:47s into the song, Thom wails and the sound just raises hairs on the back of my neck. that entire song is so good.  a lot of emotion is conveyed through it and it makes me think.

ok: the required listening list for the night.

the Roots: Seed 2.0

Led Zeppelin: No Quarter

Squeeze: Take Me, I'm Yours

Queen: Killer Queen

The Doors: L.A. Woman

Motley Crue: Girls, Girls, Girls,

The Eagles: Hotel California

R.E.M.: What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

Social Distortion: Through These Eyes

Smashing Punpkins: Cherub Rock

mmm...tasty.

                                           go forth.

                                                                                                  download. 


Saturday, November 19, 2005

the soundtrack of a beautiful wednesday.

Beck - Girl

Gorillaz - Double Bass

Radiohead - Idioteque

incubus - Are you In?

LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk is Playing At My House

Led Zeppelin - Dazed and Confused

Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box

David Bowie - Man Who Sold the World

The Wallflowers - One Headlight

The Smiths - This Charming Man

Frou Frou - Let Go

The Dead 60's - Riot Radio

The Bravery - An Honest Mistake

The Beatles - I Want You (She's so Heavy)

Queens of The Stone Age - First it Giveth

Klint - Diamond

Spoon - Jonathon Fisk

Dismemberment Plan - Gyroscope

Incubus and Big Pun - Still Not A Player

Kasabian - Club Foot

Death Cab For Cutie - When Soul Meets Body

Arcade Fire - Neighborhoods #1 (Tunnels)

Modest Mouse - Dark Center of The Universe

Scissor Sisters- Take Your Mama Out

Spoon - Small Stakes

Bloc Party - Banquet

The Stranglers - Golden Brown

Sublime - Under My Voodoo

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Higher Ground

Rush - Tom Sawyer

The Pixies - Monkey Gone to Heaven

Gang of Four - Run, Run, Run

Incubus - Familiar (from the Spawn Soundtrack)

Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy

Alice in Chains - Rooster

Modest Mouse - Bankrupt on Selling

Bright Eyes - Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To love and to be loved)

Mars Volta - Concertina

The Breeders - Cannonball

David Bowie - Stone Love

...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Another Morning Stoner

the Pixies - Debaser

NIrvana - Lithium

Smashing Pumpkins - Zero

Porno For Pyros - Pets

The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Tonight

The Scissor Sisters - Laura

The Zutons - Pressure Point

Queen - Stone Cold Crazy

Bjork - Violently happy

Modest Mouse - Tiny Cities Made of Ashes

Daft Punk - One More Time

Incubus - Talk Shows on Mute

download and enjoy. this is good music; inject it directly into the brain. Let me know how it tastes.



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